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INDIVIDUAL ATTACHMENT-BASED THERAPY

Transform your relationships into the loving, mutually supportive connections you want and need without overstepping your boundaries.

1:1 Attachment therapy

I work with clients who have experienced attachment trauma through childhood abuse, neglect, abandonment, rejection, or persistent misattunement from caregivers. This relational trauma can result in attachment anxiety, especially if we did not get to re-establish safety in these relationships. The theory behind attachment is that our earliest experiences (which can begin in utero) are replayed out in adult relationships. People often then find themselves stuck in emotional and behavioral patterns that feel confusing and out of their control. Thankfully, therapy can be a place to learn how to keep what works, heal from the rest, and meaningfully reconnect to yourself and others.

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Is this you?

In adults, attachment anxiety usually shows up in romantic and/or sexual relationships, but can occur in close friendships as well. maybe you:

  • Struggle to feel the love from your partner(s) or friends

  • Question your worthiness and lovability

  • Fear being vulnerable

  • Worry about abandonment or rejection from your partner

  • Crave consistent reassurance, even though the reassurance only temporarily soothes your worries

  • Want to hide or pull away when you feel too vulnerable

  • Loop through painful, unchecked stories in your head about what’s happening in the relationship

  • Hold onto things your partner does as evidence that they don’t care about you

  • Scan for perceived threats to your relationship

  • Care for your partner in hopes that they won’t hurt you

  • Offer more of yourself than what feels good in order to maintain a sense of security / usefulness / worthiness

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How I Can support You

Through a mix of relational psychodynamic therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and somatic work, I can help you:

  • Clarify what you need to feel safe in relationships

  • Accept your needs and limits

  • Set and maintain boundaries

  • Decrease shame about having needs

  • Reclaim your authentic self

  • Develop greater capacity to be vulnerable

  • Build conflict resolution skills

  • Communicate needs and expectations more effectively

  • Create more fulfilling, meaningful relationships

  • Increase your self-esteem

  • Lower your defenses

  • Feel more confident in your relationships

  • Expand your sex and pleasure practices, if desired

“At our core, we are social beings who regulate through connection with others.”

Diane Poole Heller

APPROACHES IN 1:1 RELATIONSHIP THERAPy

01

Through relational psychodynamic therapy, I utilize the therapy relationship to help you build trust in a safe container. How you feel in the therapy relationship can also give us insight into ways you’re relating.

02

With Internal Family Systems (IFS), I help you identify and acknowledge the parts of yourself that get activated in relationships. Some examples are: parts that want love, parts that are afraid of love, parts that feel like “too much,” angry parts, wounded parts, and parts that need comfort.

03

With narrative therapy, we slow things down and identify the different stories in our head that contribute to our emotional and behavioral responses. These stories may or may not be rooted in reality. Clarifying those narratives helps you reconnect to what’s happening in you and your relationship.

04

By connecting with your body through somatic work, you can feel into what safety, connection, trust, panic, fear, and anger feel like inside of you. This will allow you to better work within your own boundaries and avoid emotionally harmful situations.

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how is this different from couples therapy?

I am a huge fan of couples therapy and recommend it to almost everyone I know so long as everyone is on board. At the same time, I value holding individual space for people to process their relationship challenges outside of their partner(s). There are some things that your partner does not need to know when it comes to your biases, assumptions, and judgments about them or the relationship. I’m not advocating for secrecy—just privacy. With individual relationship therapy, you can feel your whole range of feelings and air out your concerns without worrying about your partner potentially getting upset. This can help you process, regulate your emotions, and be the present partner you want to be. My job is to help you identify your role in the emotional and behavioral dynamics with your partner(s). From there, you can take responsibility for your part and figure out what changes you might want to make to better support your relationship.

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schedule your video call

Sign up for your 20-minute consultation call by filling in the contact form. I will reach out to confirm a time within 2-3 working days.