MY PRACTICE IS GUIDED BY:
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At the core of my clinical stance is the therapy relationship itself. Within relationships is where we can experience the transformative power of connection, of truly being together in an expansive, honest, nuanced way. This feels especially important given how oppressive systems keep us fragmented from one another and ourselves. I value co-creating a space where my clients and I can find reprieve from this isolation and do what all humans are meant to do: connect.
What this means in practice is that I get curious about what happens in our therapy relationship. This could mean exploring fears around intimacy and vulnerability with another person, repairing unintentional wounds that can occur in the session, and discovering what facilitates or interrupts our connection.
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People are wonderfully multi-dimensional, vibrant, and surprising. I am committed to maintaining a practice that is inclusive of diverse identities and experiences. I invite open conversations about cultural identities that influence our therapy relationship. While my intersecting identities offer me perspective in joining with you, my story is not your story. I trust and respect that you know your world best.
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I believe that empathy allows us to keep the doors open to self-love, compassion, and kindness. When we are witnessed in our suffering and received with empathy, when we say our hardest truths and the person we are speaking to does not turn away from us, we have more opportunities to experience liberation from our deepest burdens and heal from shame.
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I am in ongoing conversation with myself and other care workers / healers about what it means to decolonize mental health. In our therapy, this looks like:
framing your experience outside of pathology
tending to wounds inflicted by capitalistic violence
celebrating your full power and resilience
centering joy, rest, and healing as acts of resistance
being curious about how systems of power and oppression might be unintentionally re-created in therapy
exploring what difference the difference makes (e.g., what does it mean for us to work together and have overlapping identities but different experiences? how does it impact the way we relate to one another?)
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I invite you to notice your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations when discussing topics that range from heartfelt to challenging. Often our bodies feel things before we formulate thoughts, though this depends on our relationships to listening to the body, as many of us have been taught to override the body’s needs. Within this frame, I borrow from mindfulness practitioner Tara Brach and ask, “What if this feeling or thought belongs? What happens when we take a rest from judgment, from fighting with ourselves, and sit with what is here? ” This practice is rooted in observing and accepting the present moment, rather than trying to intellectualize it.
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In our therapy, play can look like trying on new strategies to see how they work for you, daydreaming outside of all-or-nothing thinking, and role-playing conversations either with different parts of ourselves or with others. I also encourage humor and laughing together—when it’s appropriate! Laughter teaches us a lot about how our bodies are feeling and where we feel open, as well as where we want to hide. For many of my clients, laughter has been an integral survival strategy.
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I work with an open heart, connection to the body, and a sense of groundedness. I am not interested in being a blank slate. I am not neutral. I show up with the knowledge I have, and an abundance of empathy and readiness to sit with you in your process. As Jacob Ham of The Center for Child Trauma and Resilience says, “If you really want to work effectively with people, you have to keep surrendering your power. That means being humble and making mistakes and fumbling, and you have to be comfortable with that.”
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While I may offer suggestions about how to approach a particular concern, I believe in direct, affirmative consent about what we work on and how we work together. I invite feedback to collaborate about what is going well in our therapy and what could use adjustment.
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I embody the hope that change can occur. I would not be in this profession if I did not genuinely believe that people have the potential for substantial transformative healing.
A person’s childhood is the prologue to their story.
— Samra Habib
HOW I APPROACH THE WORK
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Psychodynamic / Attachment-Focused
I return to early childhood relationships to explore our first experiences of love, nourishment, and compassion, as well as neglect, fear, and pain. These relationships are typically with the people in our families of origin, though this is not the case for everyone. By looking back, we can trace how these early relationships inform the way that we presently view ourselves and others, and how those views shape our current interactions, especially in close intimate relationships. Gaining insight into our past can help us have a more balanced understanding of what we need to feel secure, and what patterns we engage in that might be getting in the way of achieving that security. From that insight, we can identify the desired and necessary changes to transform our ability to create meaningful, balanced relationships.
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Storytelling Practices
I believe in the power of story. Not only is meaning-making a biological brain function, it is what helps us make sense of who we are and what is happening in our lives. Stories can also connect us across generations and cultures, allowing us to learn more about who and where we come from. They can be part of some ancestral practices, in which certain sayings and tales are offered as guidance for behavior. Stories illuminate how patterns of relating to one another get passed down. When we realize that these ways of being are inherited, we can decide whether or not they align with our own values.
I like to ask variances of the question, “What is the story you tell yourself, about yourself?” We might notice that we are self-critical, that we blame others or ourselves for bad things that happen, or that we are stuck in the same story loop trying to find a way out. We all have the power to reclaim and re-write narratives that prioritize our worth, deepen our connection to self, and help us heal from shame.
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Somatic / Mind-Body Connection
Sometimes we can focus so much on our thoughts that we miss how else our experiences impact us. Because the mind and body are so connected, I use a holistic approach in my practice to better understand the pain you might be experiencing. Together, we can observe the ways that our bodies communicate with us (e.g., nausea during conflict, tense shoulders, dissociation, racing heart when nervous, chronic headaches). Histories of trauma, oppressive injuries, low self-esteem, and gender dysphoria can make it more challenging to feel aligned in the body. We can explore how our bodies are archives of trauma and pain by asking, “Where does it hurt? Where do I hold this experience in my body? Is there a time in my life that this pain brings me back to?” Through deep listening, we can find our way back to our bodies.
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Parts Work / Internal Family Systems
While I am not certified in Internal Family Systems, I am well informed in the approach, especially when working with queer and trans clients. IFS purports that we are made up of different parts, many of which play a protective role (yes, even the ones that can be critical, controlling, and insecure). Slowly and with consent, we get to know these parts better in order to understand how they are trying to help. This process can facilitate inner trust, from which place we generally feel more connected with ourselves. IFS also incorporates mindfulness by focusing on what’s happening in the moment.
IFS can be incredibly helpful when trying to bring closer together parts of ourselves that feel in conflict (e.g., “I want care but I’m afraid of receiving it,” “I want independence but I deeply long for connection”); I find that doing so can be greatly beneficial for marginalized folks socialized in oppressive systems.
