At last, I can just be.
AFFIRMING, INCLUSIVE, AND EMPOWERING THERAPY FOR FOLKS LEARNING TO TAKE UP SPACE
Hi, I’m Luca Jin-Lin Bartlett.
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT #132935) residing on unceded Lisjan Ohlone land (Oakland, CA). I use they/them and he/him pronouns.
With telehealth, I am able to provide therapy to folks all across California.
I am currently accepting new clients. My sliding scale slots are full with no anticipated openings anytime soon.
ABOUT
I work with adults and older teens who learned to survive by making themselves small and keeping it all inside.
Through experiences of oppression, loss, trauma, abandonment, and emotional neglect, many of the people I work with often did not grow up with a stable, secure foundation from which to safely explore who they are and what they need. They had to quickly learn alternative ways of getting their needs met. Based on their unique circumstances, many of my clients responded to the trauma of exclusion and rejection by seeking safety in staying quiet and being of service to others.
My clients do what they do—avoid mistakes, prioritize success over failure, say yes when they have no spoons, take the blame, minimize their feelings, absorb others’ emotions—to keep everything together. They hold it in, take it all on, and ask, “if not me, then who?” It’s often the case that these sacrifices did and do keep some things together. It’s likely that it can feel really fulfilling to offer care and labor in these ways—it might even be central to their cultural identities. However, we almost always come out wanting when we continue to give without having enough of ourselves left over.
My clients notice the impact of self-sacrifice when they struggle to meaningfully engage in close intimate relationships, listen to their intuition on the big and small things, heal from oppressive wounds, advocate for themselves, and ultimately create a life where they feel secure in who they are.
WHO I WORK WITH
When clients reach out to me, they’re ready to move away from abandoning themselves to centering themselves.
My clients reckon with how denying their needs prevent them from figuring out who they really are, viewing their needs as inherently valuable, and having the honest, empowered life that they want. I work best with people who are ready to dive in and transform insight into lasting change, even when it’s uncomfortable or scary.
Many of my clients are fellow queer, trans / non-binary, mixed race, BIPOC, neurodivergent, fat, disabled, and/or chronically ill folks. Several are children of immigrants, the eldest child, or the only child. Many are caretakers, perfectionists, and high-achievers. They are usually “the strong one” or the “therapist” of their friend group; their deep sensitivity is often overlooked or minimized due to past experiences of criticism. Their multiply-marginalized identities across race, gender, sexuality, class, ability, and size often play a significant role in how their survival looks and functions. Together we find sustainable ways to maintain fulfilling cultural connections while creating more space for individual needs and wants.
Please note that you do not have to identify with any of these categories for us to work together! I welcome folks from many different paths.
Through the lens of making more space for honest desires and intentions, I support folks with navigating the following:
QTBIPOC identities and experiences
Asian American / children of immigrant identities and experiences
mixed race identities and experiences
disability and chronically ill identities and experiences
intimacy and relationship concerns, including poly/non-monogamous relationships
sex and pleasure, including kink and asexuality experiences
perfectionism
people-pleasing
grief and loss
food and body liberation
low self-esteem
general anxiety and worry
social anxiety
depression, including premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)
phase of life changes (e.g., moving, starting a family, entering/leaving jobs or school)
BENEFITS OF WORKING TOGETHER
Healing through the therapy relationship can open up lasting pathways to:
learn coping strategies that actually work for your unique needs
accept the full range of emotions even when it’s uncomfortable
make sense of challenging emotional experiences
normalize the messiness of being a human in a suffering world
embrace truth over comfort (aka sit with the “hard truths”)
gain insight into confusing and/or harmful behavioral patterns
liberate yourself from shame
reclaim your sense of identity, agency, and power
practice vulnerability and intimacy in the context of safety and consent
strengthen trust in your inherent body wisdom
prioritize and expand your joyful practices
move away from an expected outcome of “healed” and remain in process
create a life that centers sustainability (we go as slow as we need to)
build a more empowered, balanced, and aligned sense of self
